feeling alone Options

[precious]

hi im new to this site and i guess ill let you know a little about me im pretty young 24 but am going through some hard times i have been feeling very depressed lately due to the fact that the guy i was supposed to mary suddenly left me and kicked me out of our home. i feel like i have been slamed in to a brick wall. He suddenly felt the need to be single. I am back living with my parents which was the last think i had thought of doing. He left me with a lot of debt and financial responsabilities that are hard for me to carry on by myself since he had been helping with them before. It makes it even harder because my birthday and the holidays are coming up and i will be spending them alone. ....all i have been doing everyday is crying uncontrollably, i havnt eatin much. i only eat to take the hunger pain away and thats about it. i used to weigh 124 and in 4 days have dropped to 108 i never want to go anywhere even though my friends try to take me out and tell me i will find someone new it doesnt help. He was the only guy i had been with that treated me like a princess ...its just hard to be alone after so long and picturing your life going in a certain direction and than it throws a curve ball.....i know i shouldnt have but i slept with him the other day thinking in my mind it would bring us back together but it didnt it actually made things worse you would think loving someone for a little more than 2 years would mean something but he treated me like i was someone he had just met that night..he was cold and left me feeling worthless after...that night and ever since than i have been taking pills to help me to sleep...sometimes i think i would be better off taking a lot of pills just to not wake up ...some would probably think that would be the easy way out that i was a coward to not face the world and reality...but i cant help thinking this way..

[bonniegeen]

Precious
Welcome to the forum. You'll find that here we've all seem to have 'been there and done that' where these things are concerned.

I don't see your acts of desperation in wanting to sleep the pain away as a failure to cope, I've been through that and I know others here have.......and we've all made it through.

I wish I could shed some magic words that would take the pain away, but I can't. All I can do is to offer the advice to spend some time writing in a diary or journal all of your thoughts and feelings about him, yourself and you life. You must have had a plan for your life at one point that didn't involve him....try to get back to that.

I know its hard when the ones we love act so cruel, it seems there must be something wrong with us. That isn't the case. If he were any type of wonderful man he wouldn't have treated you in this way and wouldn't continue to add pain by giving you false hope. That is his issue, he was wrong to do that and I bet there are others, or will be others that will be treated the same way by him. You can move on without him.

Look for the support of your family. If you are feeling seriously about ending it all, let your parents know so they can help. As I've said before, ending it in that way doesn't end the pain, I truly believe we carry it on with our spirit as unresolved issues. Better to work your way up from the bottom of the pit you feel you are in and be the better for it.
I'll be thinking of you, and be sure to come back and let us know how you're doing.
Bonnie

[RainbowLove]

Hi precious, i'm sorry to hear you go thru this.

it's hard to live on when the only one that you depends on suddenly walk out of the door. when one of my family members who i love so much passed away, it almost like the end of the world to me. i thought i would never had a happy day ever since.

but god has a funny way to show us how to stand up again. facing the hardship, i almost paralyse, but eventually i get thru it.

it must be hard to face with all the debt and stuff. maybe your guy has his own problem or whatsoever but he has no right to treat you this way. you deserve better than this. confront him if you want the real reason behind his act and most importantly, throw back the debt to him if he is the one who should be responsible for it.

anyway, i hope you will be better soon.

[Joost]

Hello precious,

Welcome to deoression forum family. You have been through a lot in your life. You will find a lot of support and helpful people out here who can help in all the very possible ways.

All the best.

[Rosewood88]

Precious i know i am new to the forum but just remember one thing. What your boyfriend did to you is a reflection on him, not on you. You did nothing wrong. I know what feelings of suicide are like but remember, it is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I'm sure that with some hard work you can get out of debt and eventually you will find a man that deserves to be with you.

[precious]

Just wanted to say thankyou for the kind words i just want to let you know that it means a great deal to me...i feel a little silly because my problems probably seem minute compared to others but im glad to hear that there is somone out there that can offer me some encouragment and good advise

thankyou again

Hi precious, i'm sorry to hear you go thru this.

it's hard to live on when the only one that you depends on suddenly walk out of the door. when one of my family members who i love so much passed away, it almost like the end of the world to me. i thought i would never had a happy day ever since.

but god has a funny way to show us how to stand up again. facing the hardship, i almost paralyse, but eventually i get thru it.

it must be hard to face with all the debt and stuff. maybe your guy has his own problem or whatsoever but he has no right to treat you this way. you deserve better than this. confront him if you want the real reason behind his act and most importantly, throw back the debt to him if he is the one who should be responsible for it.

anyway, i hope you will be better soon.

[Lauren]

Precious, sorry to hear you are having a difficult time. This guy obviously has issues he needs to resolve. Thank God you didn't marry him and have a couple of kids before he bailed out on you. It's much harder pulling yourself together when you have little ones that need you. He's not ready for marriage. Perhaps in time he will be ...or...you'll meet someone that is ready to make a commitment. You are soooooooo young. Focus on your family and friends that love you. Force yourself to get out and do things. This experience wil make you a stronger person. I pray that God will give you the strength and determination to get through this difficult time.