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How to Get Rid of Passive Aggressive disorder - Negativistic


Passive aggressive disorder is applied to a person who, when demands are made upon him for adequate performance, responds with some form of passive resistance, such as procastinate, dawdling, stubborness, deliberate inefficiency, pretended forgetfulness and unresonable criticism of people in authority.

Passive Aggressive Disorder

Passive aggressive personality disorder is a chronic condition in which a person seems to acquiesce to the desires and needs of others, but actually passively resists them and becomes increasingly hostile and angry.

Passive aggressive personality disorder is a chronic condition in which a person seems to acquiesce to the desires and needs of others, but actually passively resists them and becomes increasingly hostile and angry.

The DSM-IV describes the PAPD essential feature as a pervasive pattern of negativistic attitudes and passive resistance to demands for adequate performance in social and occupational settings. The pattern must not occur exclusively during periods of major depression nor can it be accounted for by dysthymia. It is commonly seen in the workplace, but also commonly seen in marriages and other relationships. The behavior is expressed by procrastination, forgetfulness, stubbornness, and intentional inefficiency. It is a very common response to a task assigned by someone in authority.

Overview, Causes, & Risk Factors of Passive-aggressive personality disorder

The typical causes of this illness are not know and mostly genetic in nature. It might be environmental or conditional, but it is still unclear.

Symptoms of Passive-aggressive personality disorder

Symptoms of passive-aggressive personality disorder include:

  • putting things off
  • "forgetting" to do things others ask
  • being stubborn
  • disliking people who are in charge, or having a bad attitude about them
  • complaining frequently
  • working poorly or slowly on purpose
  • feeling unappreciated
  • blaming problems on others
  • being irritable
  • disliking the ideas of other people, even if they are useful
  • arguing frequently

Characteristics of Negativistic Person

Passive-aggressive people display the following four typical characteristics:

  1. You cannot reason with them ever and they always are unreasonable.
  2. You cannot make them comfortable under any experience.
  3. These people always display the hostile ways indirectly or passively.
  4. They keep on repeating their behaviour again and again.

Treatment of Passive-aggressive personality disorder

There are two major ways for individuals with PAPD to enter treatment. The first, and most common, is externally leveraged treatment for those individuals who do not see themselves as having a problem. Someone forced them into treatment, e.g., family, employers, or the legal system. These clients with PAPD have minimal insight; they fail to admit that they are a major factor in the problems they have. The second method for individuals with PAPD to enter treatment is via self-referral for vague complaints, e.g. "I'm just not getting anywhere". Counseling may be of value in helping the person identify and change the behavior.

Facts and Tips about Passive-aggressive (negativistic) personality

  • Passive-aggressive personality is featured by negative approach and reactive conflict to hassles for satisfactory performance.
  • Passive-aggressiveness carries a large amount of appearances like laziness, poor memory, exactness, disregard, absenteeism, inflexibility.
  • Congnitive therapy and antidepressant drugs are very effective to control negative attitude.
  • Give positive behavioral support to the patient.
  • Avoid alcoholic beverages.
  • Yoga is a best option to control negative thoughts.

My 'X' was passive-agressive and one characteristic that he had, that I don't see mentioned, is that he has a habit of setting others up, who are more meek and co-dependent in behavior, and putting guilt or blame upon them, and come out shining like a saint. It's a form of manipulation and denial that they perpetrate.
Laura Hurst (3/03/2006)

I have a 20 year old son that has had a lot of this symptoms since child hood, I had a very difficult pregnancy and delivery, he developed slower but more and more became such a angry child and always had to be first and right and etc.. but now he is a 20 year old with even more difficulties in our home with authority and siblings, getting or keeping a job and it's never his fault.. he has been diagnosed many times since the age of 6 with things like ADHD and delexia with learning diabilities.. and ODD  and has been on many different kinds of meds in short lifetime but nothing seems to help they even tried bipolar meds without really testing him for that.. I am one worried mom that just wants answers to be to help my son..This PAPD describes my son to a T... I just don't know what to do anymore..If anyone can help please do... thank you...
Denise (3/05/2006)

I am currently married to (athough separated from) a husband who is classic passive agressive.  I try to learn as much as possible regarding this disorder and ways to deal with others who have it.  As I learn more, I find it easier to 1. spot his passive agressive behavor for what it is, and 2. prevent his manipulativive ploys to place the blame on me or others.  I am not very optimisitc in regard to my future with this man, mainly due to his inabilitiy to accept or even look at himself as having a problem.   I have three children with this man and at least one of them has already started showing signs of this problem even though he is only six.  I feel that with my continued learning about this disorder, I will be able to prevent or at least miminize my son's problem with it, but would like to locate any additional information regarding the passing on of this disorder to children as well as ways to effectivly deal with children who are starting to show these signs.   Thank you very much.
gina r (3/24/2006)

I have been in a seven year relationship with a passive aggressive man. He has a very controlling mother who calls it "overprotectiveness" and then he has a father who does have the ability to show affection and is very strict and rigid. He works for his family and has done so for 20 years of his life. He is forty years old. He never brought girls home and I am his first relationship. I was his best friend for 3 years before we went further into a relationship. We have been in a relationship for last 3 1/2 years. Unfortunately, I thought I knew this man after 3 years of friendship....but that was because I had no reason to place demands on him. But when we bought a 6 acres in the country with a cabin that needed alot of work and painting, etc. was when his true personality was revealed. I later found out that the personality I had fallen in love with was because he would drink on his way to my home and was therefore another person. But when work was required of him to hold his own...was when he began to show all of these traits. He made promises he never kept. He made excuses. He put things off which made me finish them. It became a nightmare. My house was leased out and I had no place to go and in the beginning I cried cause he would state "I do not know why I am this way". He told me he did not like his parents when we were friends. I tried to get him and his mother closer and that was a mistake because all she wanted to do was find fault with me anyway she could. I truly do not understand what I have managed to get myself into when I thought I knew him after 3 long years. I have done alot of research and he is extremely passive aggressive in many of the categories. I got engaged to him upon the agreement that he would seek a therapist. Two years I have waited. He only finally went to group therapy and not much more. He just tonight told me "when I find a passive aggressive specialist" that is qualified to help me I will go. My God, how can he know if they are qualified unless he tries. I have finally given up and began to move back into my house. He is such a nice guy (wolf in sheeps clothing) but so emotional unavailable. It is sad that parents could be in such denial about what their son is, but they are. They go to Church every Sunday and Wednesday and forced the same on him and he admitted that is why he does not go to church. He refuses to talk about them to the therapist however which I do not understand how he cannot talk about the very people that helped create his personality. It is as though they raised him to be "what they wanted" in lieu of allowing him to develop his own personality. I care about him....but it has been emotionally draining and I find myself also becoming "not normal" in trying to help him. But now I am giving up and going back to thinking about only my needs. In the book they call me a "rescuer" which means I tried to help him and he basically took advantage of it. - Janice Storey

I recognized that I am passive-agressive years ago. I even recognize the environmental factors that probably led to much of this self-destructive behavior. While I never received treatment, I have developed a lot of compensating behaviors that seem to mitigate some of the problems I've always struggled with. Five years ago, my husband and I got custody of his 10 year old daughter. He had never been part of her life, because of a mother with Borderline personality who manipulated the situation until we were finally able to document and prove that she was making false accusations and was causing their child to have a lot of emotional problems. When we got custody, she was a very, very sweet little girl - very manipulative though - and in such a charming way that no one minded being manipulated by her. However, we recognized that she neede boundaries and the trouble started immediately. She recognizes no one as authority - and only pretends to go along with the rules; and then she breaks them. At first, it was always just a "toe" over the line. Then a little further and a little further, until now, at 15, she doesn't believe anyone has the right to tell her what to do. We've caught her in countless lies. She "forgets" her homework all the time. She is extremely bright, but takes hours and hours to complete her homework, and even then, "forgets" several assignments. She is drawn to friends who are troubled, and she tries to rescue them; but when she finds they don't take her advice, or if they ever try to criticize her, she is on to the next unfortunate. Her bad grades are "never" her fault. Its either a teacher who isn't clear, or she didn't study because no one told her the test was going to be over "that chapter"; or someone was distracting her in class. I need to get her into treatment, but she has told me that there's no point, because she will just refuse to talk (this is what she did for the first year, when there was court-ordered counseling for her.) She has started arguing with absolutely every rule, every guideline, and has gotten downright hostile towards her father and me. Her language is terrible. She says things that she seems to know are going to make us very angry, and that will lead to her being punished. I don't know what to do.- Melissa

Sometimes crying or laughing
are the only options left,
and laughing feels better right now.

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