Many people don't recognise anger. Their feeling come out as hurt or fear. They feel powerless, belittled or humiliated and don't want to dwell on these feelings. Others ruminate on the experiences that have made them angry and nourish grudges. Some become sour, vindictive or depressed.
It is common to fear anger's destructive force. In many families, therefore, displays of anger are not tolerated: they may be shifted in the children and repressed in parents. This can happen regardless of whether or not the anger is justified, leading to an added level of confusion and discomfort for those who are feeling angry. There is generally a taboo on expressing anger or even feeling it.
We should consider our own behaviour. Are we being deliberately provocative or irritable? Perhaps passive aggressive? It may be that the person who is making us angry reminds us of less attractive parts of our own character. If we recognise why we are angry, this can help us to control the anger.
Don't shy away from anger, acknowledge it.
Best regards
Teena