Helping your Perfectionist Child Find Balance

The current world is highly competitive and challenging for a youngster and children especially. The tough college admissions process, jobs scenes, ever increasing toughness in doing business are all driving people crazy and unmanageable. These problems in today’s culture of high stakes are not solved until we become a perfectionist. But the problem does not end here. Being a perfectionist is proven to interfere a lot with the child’s ability to achieve goals and shape their futures. In fact, they often struggle with depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem.

Perfectionist kids can be divided into two categories – one as underachievers and second as overachievers. The first one tend to be paralysed by their perfectionism and could not make decision or try new things because they are too afraid to fail. Overachievers always relentlessly try new things and perform them perfectly.

When the achievers achieved something, they set the goals higher and higher. the realisation of being perfect does not come easy and although it comes, it becomes more and more difficult to choose between being perfect and the most effective strategy for getting things done.

Here are top signs of a Perfectionist child
Check on these questions for your child and find if they are overachievers or underachievers.

1. Are they Fear failure?
2. Do they believe that doing mistakes is not good?
3. Do your child feel comfortable with criticism or disapproval?
4. Thinks that if he gets C, it is end of world for him or her.
5. Have some solid rules of his/her own to abide with?

Ways to Support a Perfectionist Child

1. Teach your children to focus the efforts and process instead of results and outcome. Explain them that the journey is equally important as the goal.
2. Help your kids understand the meaning of learning from mistakes. The perspective should be mistakes are learning opportunities.
3. Challenge your child’s definition and standards for success. Explain that the world will not end because the result was not perfect.
4. If you see anxiety in them for something, talk with them about the efforts, outcome, etc. Check for their expectations and make them set realistic goals.
5. Ask your child what they are afraid of and what is the worst which can happen. This way, you will be able to understand your child’s expectations and fear.
6. Help them prioritise the tasks which will help them focus only on those which are well worth focusing and spending energy on. You will remove many of the tasks from their perfection list by this simple exercise – greatly reducing their burden.

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