The definition of well being is different for different people. Everyone has a different opinion about it. But most of the people now believe that it is just not material possessions and consumptions. It is more and more related to other aspects as well such as health and good social relations. Can the happiness and its levels in life can be quoted as the fundamentl attribute towards well being? So what is the real measure of well being? Is it happiness, social progress, or combination of all factors of good life?
How to Measure happiness and Well being?
One possibility of finding this is through some opinion survery where the participants respond to simple questions on their degree of happiness or life satisfaction. According to some of these surveys it has been found that money, econimic progress, financial wellbeing has lesser than expected contribution towards satisfaction.
Some Expert opinion about Well Being
Nobel Prize winner Amartya Sen has pointed out that knowing well-being on the basis of feelings of satisfaction, pleasure, or happiness has below two issues.
The first is called physical-condition neglect wherein, human beings adapt at least partially to unfavourable situations, meaning the poor and the sick can still be relatively happy.
The second issue is called valuation neglect wherein valuing a life is a reflective activity that should not be reduced to feeling happy or unhappy.
The Office for National Statistics in the UK was asked by the Prime Minister David Cameron to know what is happiness and wellbeing and can they be measured. After six months of project the Jill Matheson, the director of the program reported that happiness is one intangible thing and wellbeing is measurable in the same way our economy is.
Some key aspects for Well Being
Economy and inequality
Harvey Weinstein is been in news recently for allegations of sexual misconduct. He is reportedly seeking treatment at a center in Arizona currently which focuses on sex addiction. He has some serious more than 20 allegations of sexual misconduct, harassment and assault. He stated in one of the emails to the CEO’s and directors the following: “All I’m asking is let me take a leave of absence and get into heavy therapy and counseling. Whether it be in a facility or somewhere else, allow me to resurrect myself with a second chance,” Weinstein reportedly wrote. “A lot of the allegations are false as you know but given therapy and counseling as other people have done, I think I’d be able to get there.”
After Weinstein’s resolution for seeking treatment for sex addiction and the corresponding mental illness can wrongly make such abusive actions stand along with sexual addiction for comparison.
It is not only sexual addiction which can be seen as a mental issuess in Weinstein. There could be other mental problems, too, and why not see his primary problem as
• The abuse of power?
• The incredible lack of empathy?
• The fear of being insignificant, of not even existing?
• The inability to keep marital vows?
• The lack of integrity?
• The inability to feel sufficiently nourished by an incredible career?
At the end with the Weinstein’s case it is being discussed deeply that there’s no such thing as “sex addiction,”. So what does Weinstein and others suffer from then?
The difference of offending behavior and ‘sex addiction’
Chris Samuels, director of the Sexual Addiction Treatment and Training Institute in New York, stressed that these are two separate issues. “The perpetrator (of sexual misconduct) is opportunistic, often motivated by power dynamics and often self-justifying and remorseless,” she said. “The sex addict, by contrast, is fairly constantly dealing with compulsive urges to act-out as a coping modality, is seeking emotional relief from stress rather than seeking to exercise power over another, and is rarely without shame or guilt about his or her behavior.”
No two humans walking or ever walked on this planet has the same personality and characters. Everyone is very much unique and different than other and often behave in different ways in different situations. There are no strengths and weaknesses or any particular type of personality and there is no idea of ideal personality just like there is no ideal human being to follow in this world.
That being said, it is almost impossible that at some point in life you will not say “I wish I had a different personality”. You might look for becoming more outgoing, more organized, more resistant to issues and concerns, etc. It would not be a big surprise if the most frequent question people ask for while going for personal development classes is “Can I change my personality?”.
Every personality type is unique and has different strengths. Your basic personality type cannot change, however, you can train yourself and change some of the aspects of your personality that you strive for changing or taking different course in life. Such a change in life is possible either by change in environment or your own willpower.
What the Science thinks about changing Personality
Scientists believe that personality traits not only determine what we are like, but may also impact our social relationships, work experiences, mental and physical health, and other aspects of our life. But a recently published study suggests that our characteristic personality type may be more changeable than we think.
According to researchers at the University of Chicago, who analyzed over two hundred studies to see how different types of psychotherapy and pharmaceutical drug treatments impact personality traits for people with mental-health issues, stated that personality traits are often measured and it is possible to observe shifts in them. These shifts in personality seemed to reflect actual changes in general traits, not just a temporary change in mood, such as the alleviation of depression or anxiety.
What we can do to change the personality?
The first step to making real and lasting changes in personality is to be critical of any self-development program that boasts instant, or radical change. As it takes many years to develop patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, it will take some time in the time of years to to alter them.
How to bring improvement in your Attitude? – Make it more Positive
Do you have a desire to say no to your boss and act on your own at your workplace? No, right, or Yes? Well anyway, you would be tagged for your attitude and behavior – whether as one having pathetic attitude or by one with the right attitude.
If you are the former one, it is a good time to start thinking on changing the perception and improve your attitude – not only towards workplace atmosphere, but also at home or as a matter of fact, everywhere.
- Admit to yourself if you are not happy in your life. At least do not lie to yourself and then crib all the time. You should be aware that you need to change something to bring the change and this is the first step towards this. Take control of your thoughts and reactions to events and people.
- Optimism is a choice not a born habit. No one is born with a positive or negative attitude. You take one path over the course of your life and it depends on your perspective in life. Just try this simple tip – take a pen in a difficult situation and write 4-5 good things about this difficult situation at hand.
- Select positive words while thinking or speaking – Use sentences starting with “I am hopeful,” or, “We will resolve it”. You can change your emotional outlook by this simple change in your handling situations.
- Fix up a good daily positive quote for yourself and keep yourself reminding about the same. Say it loudly every morning. For Example – “Something great is going to happen today,” which will rocket you up in the positive direction rather than negative one.
- Check on what exactly you would like to change – understand what you wish to change. Setting up of crisp and clear goals gives you success and takes you farther. No one knows you better than yourself. So take charge of your life and you will start seeing changes.
- It is an old saying that you become what you keeping your company as. So choose the right company for making yourself change the negative outlook to positive outlook. Consider making friend with new people, especially the ones who are optimistic.
At the end, it cannot be denied that a positive attitude is important, it is equally important to strive for positive attitude always. You can do it too like me!
Spotting the Signs of Emotional Abuse
Emotional abuse is all about gaining control over the other person. In this situation, a person exerts control over the life of another person. It can come in many shapes and forms and can range from very subtle version like damaging words uttered from one spouse to another to something as harsh as intimidating shouts paired with physical abuse.
According to Dr. Donnerfeld, psychologist from New York City, in the context of a relationship, the emotionally abusive person makes verbal attacks to one’s character and person. Communications in the case of emotional abusive relationships are often insulting, threatening, mocking, controlling and critical. The abuser also limits ones access to outside help such as friends, relatives, etc.
Classes of Emotional Abuse
According to the experts, there are below mentioned classes of emotional abuse:
– humiliating or criticizing the person
– disciplining a person with degrading punishments
– not recognising a person’s own individuality and limitations
– exposing a person to distressing events or interactions
– never expressing positive feelings towards a the person
– never showing any emotions in interactions with the person
Emotional Abuse in Children
Small babies and pre-school children being emotionally abused can show the following symptoms:
- They become overly affectionate towards strangers
- They tend to show lack in confidence or become highly anxious
- Do not display close relationship with their parent
- They are aggressive or nasty with animals or other children
Older children Signs and Symptoms for Abuse
- They tend to use language that you wouldn’t expect them to know at their age
- They struggle to control strong emotions
- Often they seem isolated from their parents and friends
- They display lack of social skills
Watch Out for These Signs
The signs of emotional abuse can be very difficult to spot and determine. If you see or hear one person in a relationship being openly verbally abusive to the other one, it is one of the classic emotional abuse examples. You need to look for the more subtle signs, too.
Looking on the bright side across adulthood
Eye tracking reveals changes in emotion regulation with age. We’ve all heard the advice to “look on the bright side” when we are feeling down – but is it good advice?
- Age Differences in Looking Patterns to Emotional Information
We next considered possible age differences in the tendency to look on the bright side of emotional stimuli.
- Linking Looking to Feeling
We have tried to test whether older adults’ tendency to look on the bright side is actually related to emotion regulation and effective outcomes. We have assessed mood using a potentiometer slider continuously at the same time as participants are having their eyes tracked: participants indicate their current mood by moving the slider.
- From Feeling to Doing
Older adults’ looking on the bright side may help them to regulate their emotional state, but what happens when the negative information they are looking less at in order to feel good is important and/or health-relevant. Older adults generally looked less at the negative emotional content and showed a faster emotion regulation response compared to their younger counterparts.
Learn about looking on the bright side
Whereas younger individuals may actually benefit – at least in terms of their moods – from looking more at the darker side of things, literally looking on the bright side of emotional stimuli seems to be a key tool for older adults to regulate their emotions, and it may not be associated with behavioral deficits. Put another way, older adults – at least in our investigations so far – do not seem to need to choose between mood and health: they are able to interact with the world in a way that helps them to regulate their mood while also engaging in positive health behavior.
Older adults may even use committing to engage in health behavior as a regulatory strategy itself, leading them to feel good and do good things as well. It may be that it is younger adults who must choose between regulating their emotions and engaging in health behaviors, as they did not regulate their moods as well and in some cases engaged in fewer health behaviors than did older adults; however, we have not yet tested whether younger adults could do better in different circumstances.
These patterns may have implications for the design of health messages. Younger adults may benefit from seeing “just the facts” so their emotion regulation attempts do not interfere with their ability to learn health information. Perhaps looking on the bright side can be harnessed to improve older adults’ health behavior; at the very least, older adults’ feeling good and behaving in health-promoting ways may not be mutually exclusive.
How important it is to be self aware to make progress in your life? How important it is to know how much respect you give to yourself to start with? People, and I am saying almost 99% people across the world look at others to validate themselves in many aspects making them loose their own power and control.
Does Positive Affirmations have any Role
Affirmations are the act or an instance of affirming; the assertion that something exists or is true, a statement or proposition that is declared to be true. Using affirmation to raise the self worth has been considered as a topic of controversy among professionals. Some believe that they work and are recommended in treatment highly. While lot others pass them off and say they have no use. In the opinion of depression guide, the theraptists should at least tell the idea to clients.
What is an affirmation?
Professionals who recommend and use affirmations are using it to enhance the purpose of changing the way people think. Most of the people across the world are programmed with negative thinking – like “I can’t do ____, I am no good, I am not good looking, I’m not smart?”. The idea of an affirmation is to change the way we think over a period of time. Remember that it took however many years to leran this affirmations.
It is going to take substantial time to reprogram your mind to think positive things about yourself and then believe them.
The important thing is to find out what you think negative about yourself and then rewrite it so it is in the for of a positive statement instead of a negative one.
How to Fail with Grace and maintain Affirmation?
Failure is a part of life—at work, at school, and even in our relationships. In short, we screw up all the time. Fortunately, new research shows how we can learn from our mistakes. As it happens, preserving our self-worth helps our brains make sense of our blunders so we can do better the next time around. Affirming your values also helps your brain attune to the errors of your ways so you can learn from your mistakes.
Self Esteem Affirmations
- I love and accept myself unconditionally.
- I approve of myself and feel great about myself.
- I radiate love and respect and in return I get love and respect.
- I am a well loved and well respected person.
- I am a cultured and wise and yet, a humble person.
Competition Leads to Depression In Girls – Truth and facts
Competition is everywhere and almost inevitable in the current times. All people whether small or big are exposed it to it. It is both good as well as bad. Competing to win is very important for girls’ social relationships and it may cause depression if they lose or do not come first. The scenario for boys is completely different. According to the study performed by Dr. David Hibbard from California State University and Dr. Duane Buhrmester from the University of Texas The consequences of this completion on psychological well-being and social role in adolescents depends on both the type of competitiveness and the teenager’s gender.
In a competing world, one is set to win and others are set to lose. If the spirit of competition is taken far from just winning and losing, it may lead to selfishness and lack of compassion. It can affect people socially and emotionally. People of different genders have different effects of these changes.
Teenage Girls leading to depression
- Lack of fun – study days are mix of the cycle – Learn. Revise. Eat. Sleep. Repeat. This makes some students crumble under pressure and go deep in depression. The fun need to be there and has to be mixed just well with studies.
- Relationships and commitments are important. We all need care and affection and this is what girls need when they are in college or school. Knowing what they are going through is a sure shot way to take early pointers for any problem areas.
- Dying dreams – Know what the girls are really looking to do in their life. The competition is fierce. If the child is working towards something which is not their dream – half of their battle is lost. So know their dream or build one for them.
Sickening competition – this has been the issue with every one of us. The ever increasing population has made everyone run faster than other to take the limited fruits hanging in the future. You’re a dancer? That’s not enough. You have to be an excellent dancer. You’re a coder? Watch her code in Python. She’s better than you. You’re a singer? See she has a higher pitch than yours.
Simple tips to Handle Betrayal and Hearing Voices
Betrayal harms us more than anything else in the world. It can go down till the deepest parts of us. Yet it is possible to reach those inner dark places which hide the darkest fears and desires. It is possible through gentle love and listening.
Whether it is a child suffering from sexual abuse or a partner dealing with domestic violence, the trauma is overwhelming since it involves someone with intimate relationship. Since you are dependent on the other person for food, shelter, emotional wellbeing, support, etc. the suffering received is also severe in the case of abuse.
In the cases of abuse and betrayal, many times people start hearing their names being called out from the back. When they turn around, there is no one. This hearing of voices if happens more than 2-3 times a week, is not normal and comes under the category of issue called hearing voices which has its roots in the betrayal and abuse you had suffered from deep inside.
When our experience of hearing voices goes beyond hearing names, then we tend to feel concerned. These in other words are also called auditory hallucinations which may not necessarily always be abnormal.
Differences in Voices origin
Different people hear voices from different places. Sometimes the voices appear to come through ears and sometimes, it is like coming from inside the head. There could be many voices or single voice coming from these places. These voices can be both encouraging or intimidating coming either from someone you know in your life or from someone you never heard of.
Betrayal trauma can lead to visual and auditory hallucinations such as victims hearing the voice of their abuser.
Advice for those hearing voices
The following advice can help you recover from the deep hurt from these voices:
Accepting your voices and stop battling with yourself to avoid them, will make you in better position to understand them.
There are different ways you can gain control over your voices. You can distract yourself from the voices by listening to music through headphones. You can also start a dialogue with the voices you hear. If the voices you hear are threatening, tell them that they have no power over you.
Valentine’s Day is just a week away. Love is in the air, well actually airwaves.
Our screens bombard us with images of bouquets of red roses, strawberries dipped in chocolate and French perfumes. Overnight, stores and shop fronts are filled with pink and red window displays heralding the arrival of Valentine’s Day: A celebration of love, romance and friendship.
Well, we at depression-guide thought we’d celebrate the season of love little differently. Instead of putting up typical lists of mushy love movies to watch or romantic books to read love stories of fictional characters, we want to put up real love stories of real people.
So send us your love story of how the two of you meet? Was it love at first sight? Was yours an arranged marriage? Who proposed and how? We’ll feature the best stories on depression-guide this Valentine’s day.
Don’t forget to send us a sweet picture of the two of you along with your story.
Email us at:mailto:email@example.com