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What Happens When We Are Over-Protective Of Ourselves?


The Physiology of Defensive Behavior

The Self-Protective System of the brain is a survival mechanism wherein, the brain ensure that we, as human beings, physically and psychologically survive. Over the time, the brain has evolved to use reasons as our responses to life as well as emotional and instinctual reactions. However, delays in brain development during childhood cause us to continue to use our instinctual and emotional self-protective behaviors without awareness of the limitations our defensive reactions put on us. Right since the birth, the brain is templated to survive which becomes its sole agenda during adulthood if during younger days, the environment around us is not safe and secure.

In your daily lives you will notice that there is not a single day when your Self-Protective System (emotional/instinctual brains) is not triggered. We are always on the verge of reacting in a defensive fashion. The impulse can be as simple as being asked whether you have finished something that you should have done and not started yet due to any reason, or something more mundane such as getting stuck in traffic when you are already late for a meeting. You will notice the imporatant changes in your brian when the automatic reactions shift gears while responding to situations from bring casual to being Self-Protective causing automatic reactions from the emotional brain to dominate.

Some of the Over Protective behaviour issues

Here are some of the issues which people generally face when they are over protecting for themselves. You can notice your behaviors by deeply looking at your reactions while talking to others in a difficult setup.

1. Rationalize - You Explain, Defend, And Make Excuses. Although on a negative or constructive comment, you say yes, still you justify aboutu will not your action. You always feel that you have to justify your behavior and act as though questions are attacks on you. For example, if someone tells you their feeling, like I will be disappointed since you will be skipping company outing, you get upset with the person and start reasoning although you know it is simple and you will just be missed.

2. Agree with Your Attacker: Someone tells you something negative about yourself and rather than correcting them you agree with their perception. You might even defend the person’s right to treat you negatively as a result of their idea of you.

3. Undermine or Devalue Others: A lot of times, you say yes and give up, appearing to be cooperative. You then feel victimized talk about the person behind their back telling them “selfish”. This will many times make you fail to do what you have agreed to affecting the other person also who is dependent on you to get what you agreed to finish.

Sometimes crying or laughing
are the only options left,
and laughing feels better right now.

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