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How to Help Your Spouse Through A Midlife Crisis?


When your spouse is going through a midlife crisis its tough to lead life happily without any hassles, but wouldn't you be better off trying to understand? A mid-life crisis is often called a second puberty in which an adult tries to recapture his or her youth by behaving much like a teenager. There are many reasons why this occurs in older adults, but here are a few tips on helping your spouse through a mid-life crisis.

Tips in helping your spouse in Midlife Crisis

  1. While a midlife crisis can become dangerous and detrimental to your spouse's health, you'll be far better able to help them stay grounded if you participate in these new activities. Your spouse might be feeling self-conscious or worried about growing old without having accomplished important goals. If you make an effort to understand these feelings, you can both go through this together.
  2. Lay stress on being positive - Your spouse wants to feel validated in his or her efforts to recapture youth, so focus on the positive aspects, such as an increased fervor for life. If your spouse wants to start running five times a day, look at it as a healthy endeavor rather than an attempt to be someone your spouse is not.
  3. Initiate new hobbies - Your spouse may decide to take up golf or softball or horseback riding during a midlife crisis. Support these hobbies and, if possible, take part in them as well. Even if you don't have an interest, you should know that new activities will bring you and your spouse closer together.
  4. Watch for mood swings - while there are many positive aspects of a midlife crisis, your spouse may experience the negative aspects, as well. Mood swings are common and may range from mild to overly severe. Watch for signs of depression, rage, resentment or despondency in your spouse and try to talk about it if you feel that things are going too far.
  5. Provide reassurance - You aren't going to help your spouse at all through a midlife crisis if you ridicule and dismiss his or her feelings. Even if you think your spouse is crazy, muster the desire to offer reassurance and validation.
  6. Make sure your spouse is taking breaks so they don’t feel overworked or stressed out. That could cause other symptoms of midlife crisis to become more prevalent.
  7. Be open to learning more about yourself and your spouse. This will improve your relationship after the crisis has passed.
  8. Emphasize the good. It’s always useful to stay positive and compliment them when possible. This will bolster their self-confidence and let them know that they are loved despite what they’re going through.
  9. Pay close attention to your spouse's mood and behavior. Make sure they are not overloading themselves with work or other things. Take them for a medical check-up to ensure their overall well-being and health.
  10. Lighten up. Spend time with others who look at the lighter side of life. Look for every opportunity to laugh with them and embrace it.
  11. Don't ask the "why" questions. They demand explanations and accountings. Often the person in the midst of a midlife crisis doesn't know the answers. That is what adds so much fear and angst.
  12. Don't start off with questions, share with sharing what you are seeing and experiencing, that you understand he must be struggling, and that you want to support him.
  13. Focus on conveying that you are not demanding answers from him but that you want to understand what he is experiencing. Join him in being mystified and even curious about his disquiet.
  14. Ask questions that open up and expand the issue. Listen - not just for what he is saying, but for what he is not saying. Listen to what is underneath what he is saying: the feelings, values, and fears.
  15. First, a physical checkup is in order. For both male and female, the physical changes which occur in mid-life have a definite effect on behavior.

Sometimes crying or laughing
are the only options left,
and laughing feels better right now.

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