Some facts about People PleaserTweet
Who are people pleasers? Aren't they person like you and me, or maybe you yourself? These are the people who please other people with all what they can. Then there are people in the list who have allowed themselves to compromise on health relationships, finance, etc on the pretext of pleasing others.
There are some typical patterns which keep people active in the list of people pleasers
- They often try what others want them to be or to do.
- They just agree to people in order to fit in the good books of the people they are around.
- The people having people pleasing habits generally are not consciously aware about the condition.
- The situation is often because of the need to please others - to avoid reactions one is afraid of.
People pleasing and its consequences in Love
In Love marriage or love Relationship between two people, which has people pleasing partner, there are two types of people - one who controls and other who gets controlled - first allowing on his/own accord and then due to the situation which cannot be changed.
The reason why people do this is because the controller knows what is best. The controller is also attracted towards the other person since he/she is allowed t take charge of the situation and feels powered. But this relationship does not last long because of missing expectations. The things at the end become bad and partners get tired of others and can't stand others getting within all their decisions and ways.
How to cure the habit of People Pleasing
1. Cultivate awareness - Acceptance and awareness about this people pleasing habit is must for getting the cure in place.
2. There is a difference between pleasing and goodwill - both differentiates in the aspects of genuineness of the need to please others. If the need is arising because you want to avoid confrontations or you want to change/manipulate the things, this is people pleasing, not goodwill gesture. Fear of consequences of no people pleasing is too big for some to consider otherwise.
3. You are not becoming selfish by the mere fact of not making others pleased. Stop feeling guilty. Honoring your own needs is not selfish. I promise, if someone is truly selfish they would not even worry about being selfish. They just have a no care attitude towards being selfish.
4. Professional help always helps to identifying the true value of your own self and your feedback. You just need to appreciate your true worth.
5. Start saying No and that too firmly to something which you do not want to do and just thought of doing it because of other person. Do not just say the things which other people wants to hear, but say the things which you think are correct and true for yourself.
6. Open up and raise voice for the things you want for yourself.