Come as you are
14 Years Old
It all started around when i was 10.
My family started changing, breaking apart.I take panadol when im feeling upset, which is everyday.. every minute of the day.
Things have been changing between me and my mum. Because of a boy. She's gone so protective, she wont even allow me to go the movies with him or even a walk ?
I go for walks with him every morning, without her knowing. She kinda know's about it, but i try lie my way out of telling her the truth. I am a christian but i need to lie.. because if i didn't, my life would be so terrible.
Suicide, ive tried doing it many time. starving yourself.. forcing yourself to vomit.. because you think your fat, cutting any part of your body, over dosing on panadol for no reason at all... i do all those things... because of depression.
Not that long ago.. did my uncle commit suicide, he was on drugs, he drank alot. One day he went out clubing.. got drunk and ended up in a car crash.. it was all his fault.
The family that ive loved.. my nanny, grandad, pets, other family... My dad left me and my family when we were little. i go to his house sometimes... but when i was younger it didn't seem like i had a dad at all.
I think im fat and terribly ugly, and it makes me cry looking in the mirror when i grab at things i do find fat. My friends tell me.. there jealous of how i look, that im skinny and beautiful... but how am i suppose to believe that ? that what their saying isnt just bull shit?
I cry everyday.. listening to music..
And i have a boyfriend, who is scared as because of what i do.. ive tried killing myself, and i BADLY want too.
Posted by Crybaby : Jun 8' 2010, Age-
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