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14 year old Girl with Deppression

14 year old Girl with Deppression
By abey
14 Years Old

well it all started 2 years ago the end of my sixth grade year i got a eating disorder which really made me sad and depresed because when my parents found out they yelled at me alot all the time every day and blamed me for are family problems bacause i supposly tore them appart when i didnt do anything .so that whole summer i was just deprest and worried about weight and trying to pretend i was over it. like a month later my mom found stuff in the sink and she knew that i was not over my eating disorder so she threatend to send me away to this rehab thing. so instead of being sick all the time i deciced to take laxatives instead and i would still them from my mom and from the store. but when the summer was almost over she found the box of laxatives in my purse so she sent me to this stupid therapist. when summer was over i went to the seventh grade which was like the worst year ever because my best friend ditched me to hang out with these preppy girls . and that was just it i litteraly lost it .when i got home a got a knife and wanted to kill myslef but when i was going to i freaken couldnt do it . i hate pain so i didnt want to die from pain. so seventh grade was really crappy so before the eith grade still had a eating disorder but i turned girly like preppy but not that preppy idk y. so i lost my eating disorder because i was just tired of hideing it and my dumb parents didnt undertsand i couldnt just stop it before because its like this addiction. so i went to a differnt school made new friends diched by friends then mad more new friends then ditched by them again and then finnaly i just hung out wit this one girl and have up on trying to be popular .so now im going to  highschool freaken boyfriendless because i didnt want to go out wit anyboys in my new school because they all they wanted was to sleep wit me but now i regret turning them down . i have been thinking of suicide alot lately like how should i do it and when. so i have deppresion where it makes me just not want to do anything like i dont even feel like hanging out wit my friends because im so tired and sad and weak. and on top of all that i get panic attacks when i speak in front of my class or a crowd .thats not goig to help me because in highschool all there is projects where u talk in front of the class. ok thats all its long but its my life.

Posted by abey : July 4, 2008

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so ever since I was 6 years old all I can remember is being depressed, seeing the world as an evil dark place. I felt like I had no wheres to go. things stayed that way for a while, my father (who I didn't live with but visited frequently on the weekends) was an alcoholic. my mother was to caught up in her work life and dealing with her own major depression to even take care of me like she should've. well years passed and my mom and me became further and further apart with every fight we had, my dad successfully finished rehab and was working on getting custody of me. in 5th grade I missed more than half the school year. not because I was physically sick, but emotionally. I didn't like anyone at my new school and I felt like they all hated me. I became even more depressed and thought of suicide more often. I started cutting myself at the young age of 10 and attempted to hang myself. my cousin walked in. she promised not to say anything to anyone if I promised not to do it again. now I'm a freshman in highschool currently back with my father. I have never felt so alone and upset in my whole life. my mom is so messed up and I can't help but worry for her. I hate everyone in my school, my friends leave me out of everything they ever do. everyone hates me. I have no friends..I feel so alone by gianna ticliffe 12/31/10

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