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Story of my life


Posted by hiroshi : Jan 25, 2011

It all started in the sixth grade. I was always fun to be around the type of kid in school, i use to be so funny a lot and realize i was really happy all day so nothing ever turn out to b wrong, i love the smell of the school it was all those years. I was never been sad, i just got happy and I was a new student because I had to quit the other school that i was in because i was being bullied and had failing grades. SO in the school year sixth grade was worse, when like 1st quarter like maybe 3 months or whatever when the quarter was almost done i was making a funny joke about myself not to anyone and then i found out my classmate was jealous of me because i was so interested and fun to be around type. She tease me and mock me i was feeling bad so i tease her back. Then all her friends started to fight with me and argue with me and you know what i did? I tease them back all the time and fight i was always sent to the principal office a lot of times, it just got chaotic with them and made it worse and then everything seems so intense i had a good friend and he changed my happy life he is always there and i know he’s there for me we were good to be around he makes me smile everyday he never stop that smile. WE laugh in class, he got everything. So later on, the next day we were fighting and I don’t remember what it was.. But later i gave him what he wants and sooner i made him we were good friends no one had ever open up my smile and laughter just EVERY DAY I found that cool friend so i made him happy again so i realize something went bad happen, I lost him.. The very next day the teacher told my classmate to remove the desk of him next to me!!! i keep starring at his desk all the time been thinking where did he went, is he coming back? I know he is…. I was depressed then all my classmates hated me and tease me and bullied me too much i couldn’t take it, you know how it feels like when people bully you every day I was not happy i was extremely quiet in class. I wasn’t happy. I literally lost everything so I get depressed a lot and then my life is all about happy endings… I never thought about suicide. I only knew that there might be a good future to see, it still wasn’t a right time yet i profound that there is a greater time to see that there isn’t anything to give up to i have strength and nothing will ever put me down, so as i get to it i was nearly depressed and i didn’t know i had it... I get so intensely depressed every day. Then in the 7th grade was really crappy, i had friends they all don’t care about me they tease me calling me horrible names, calling me stinky armpit and they use to say to me in a mean way, saying, “Hey did you put your deodorant on?” and it embarrasses me a lot, so i did cried but i held it in my eyes, when i get hurt i didn’t try hard to let go my tears in front of them, as being bullied to many times a day, wait, it seems every day!!! And punch my shoulders i was being pushed around a lot and they never seem to care, i hate being around with them they use me as a boxing bag i was nearly depressed because i thought i was useless in everything so i struggle battling with self-consciousness and i had one friend she’s a girl, and she’s from Elementary school, in the different school, she one time told me “Why you look so unhappy?” I didn’t mind it cause it’s been like that, I was embarrassed and she keep telling me “Why do i act like a girl” That makes my self-confidence so low, i was always depressed. So back to my odd friends, They tell me mean things and it hurts me a lot. Didn’t you know I skip lunch every day at the sixth grade? Well, i didn’t tell you that part but then I hide myself at the campus in the jungle crying talking to myself a lot. I was nearly alone and people tease me saying “I’m worse” I felt even more depressed I was feeling worthless i couldn’t find that happiness i was struggling to find someone to get over with me and cared for me, i didn’t feel good I cried terribly i didn’t find somebody… That was really, really crappy.. It was the lowest point of my life. I nearly cry all my life seeing myself torn apart. I tried to get over by somebody but nobody out there could listen to me i was very, very sad.. I cry alone and my parents don’t know about it, i couldn’t tell them because they never care of what i was going through, but they are totally busy. I never feel any better in my whole life, so in the 7th and the 8th grade i was quiet in my entire life, i don’t know how to smile, and laugh i don’t do anything of that so i forgot them.. I was kind a like in a darkness but i didn’t know that…I thought i was in the light so never give up to. I wanted to be invisible not existed anymore, my friends hurt me and they come to me and tease me whatever they want to and there’s no way to run away from them! They always tell me things on what to do so my first time i eat in the cafeteria I think 8th grade. I never eat a lot, so i ate less I gave all my lunch to my friend but i never want to be his friend, he-use-to-be.. So usually I’m still thin like the 7th grade, when i was 8th grade that time.. I didn’t eat a lot. I was being bullied and I am extremely shy because people tease the way I talk, and walk so I was afraid talking a lot to people because they may tease make fun of me. And then one time people told me a lot of times why am I so quiet. So to finish this up, I finish elementary school i got good grades i didn’t appear the graduation party only me and one of my classmates didn’t appear also, and I didn’t care, so on the high school was cool in the freshmen year, as i get to be so shy all the time I didn’t feel any better because i was still dealing with self-conscious, and then later on i ditched my stupid friends from elementary by not answering their phone calls, and then on i found a friend, so i didn’t feel like we are truly friends so on the few months i ditched him and i found another one but i was ditched so i was mad and then i found another one, the smoker club, i ditched them and it wasn’t good to be with and then later on i found another friend and their girls! But i got low grades and i stayed freshmen, i didn’t felt like i wanted to survive.. SO i hang out with them and one year later i ended our friendship it was just dumb, she kept thinking about her boyfriend issues and it was stupid, i got to be around and she tease my other cousin which is part of my friend also, and we’re only three group, and she’s mean to her and i told my cousin “Let’s stop hanging out with her” So we lied to her boyfriend in a text message saying that she has a another boyfriend here in high school, and she got angry at me and we lied and later on, she wanted our friendship to stop, so that was really dramatic and that’s it of my life and right now my life is good and no more bad days and I am taking a wonderful decision of homeschooling and I’m one of the Jehovah witnesses to preach the good news of the kingdom and i realize there is a joy i found, that i found real happiness my friends and family at the church they all cared for me so now i still have ups and downs but i still had to control them and whew, what a long way to start the old year’s huh?.. So that’s all in my life

Posted by hiroshi : Jan 25, 2011

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