Home Depression Real Stories  

My Hidden Secrets

     

Posted by Morgan Myles : Jan 19, 2011

well I seem to go through this cycle:1. happy,2. in love,3.sexual,4.dirty,5.ugly,6.depressed
I don't know what is wrong with me. I tried brushing it off but it always comes back and I know something is wrong. I always think back or brain storm to see what might have caused it and I have flashbacks of when I was little and there was an attempt of rape by these guys in my class and when I was about 3 someone did something sexual with me but it's a haze and since that day I've always been afraid to be in a room alone with a guy no matter who it is. I told my mother about it but I'm not sure if she believes me because I still have my hyamen.I feel alone and I go through depression a lot. Only my mother knows and no one else.I have read that children who are sexually abused tend to get "the urge" and play with themselves at a very early age and I was doing that in pre school because I remember my teacher told me to not do that during nap time, but I didn't know any better. Now I am addicted to sex but I haven't actually done it all the way because I have a medical issue and it holds me back even though guys have offered to have sex with me because I'm not an ugly person but I have a muscle weakness and some type of limp and that makes me feel ugly plus it takes a long time for me to tone up because of my weakness and so I feel like I'm fat even though my body isn't that bad, and ugly because even though im ok looking, guys feel repelled just bcause I walk with a small limp. Only some guys will actually show they like me but act too shy to say something so that is another cause of my cycle.I feel like I just want to give up on life because no one knows my secrets and don't know how I feel, I also cry a lot but mostly at night. I have obsessive sexual desires and low self esteem, it feels good to let it out but I need someone to talk to.

Posted by Morgan Myles : Jan 19, 2011

Come and share your personal depression experiences so that others will also learn from your personal experiences with depression.

Send us your story about depression
Please note that all fields followed by an asterisk must be filled in.

Name:*
Title of story
Facebook profile Link
Email address:*
Share your experience : *

Thank you for your sharing.


Sometimes crying or laughing
are the only options left,
and laughing feels better right now.




Stay Connected with DG


           


Current Issue



Self Help Leaflets

Take the help of our self help leaflets or booklets.

The DG Magazine

All about living with depression

More Depression Stories