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Depression Poem
By Brittany
14 Years Old
well...im 14 and idk...latley i feel so empty...i feel fat, and ugly. and my bff doesnt want to hang w/ me anymore..like she has ditched me...and i wonder why...i wish she would like me agian. and i feel like i weill never get a boyfriend...and like idk..all of asuddenidk...im like rambling right now... like i use to go to a litte skewl and then i am now at a public skewl..and it was soo hard cause i didnt know anyone and i felt like a looner and the one person i knew...my bff was like ignoring me..so ya that sucked..and like la8ly i have been crying for hours...praying to god for him to kill me to take me! i like dont want to get up..i dont want tommarow to come or anyday...i just want to die...i dont want to c my future or love someone...i have thought bout scuicide tons of times..but i mean...doing scuicide is a sin so if i do that ..i just go to hell and that would b pointlss...so i got into cutting a lot on my hip cause i had it on my arm but i have scares and ppl ask bout it... and it sucks..i just feel so empty inside and want to die!!! i dont want to live anymore! ihave no friends! no one would care if i die! i just....dont want to b here anymore...im ugly and fat and i hate it! i wrote some poems bout how ihave been feeling....
i feel so dead
like a pile of lead
i feel so empty inside
all i want to do is hide
i want to pick up my pace
and leave this place
i want to walk out this door
and cry no more
i cant take the leed
all i do is bleed
i want to stop this pain
before i turn insane
i dont want to cut
but im turning to a nut
i always feel bad
and always so sad
i dont want to be here
and death is so near
i want to cry
and say goodbye
and i have another one bout cutting...
i have no life
so i take a knife
i know it is a sin
but i put it to my skin
i push down and hard
as red from a card
comes pouring out
but i dont pout
i hear the steps creak
as my mom comes to seek
i quickly grab a rag
and throw the knife in a bag
my mom is near the door
as blood keeps coming from the sore
she stops and knocks
as i wish the door had locks
she asks if im okay
but i panick and dont know wa to say
she tunrs the doorknob
as i start to sob
l8ly i have stopped cutting...i mean i really want to...but i cant..and i mean...i dont want to have depression...i tell my mom but she just said it is cause of my period...so...idk if i can take anything to help...i havnt really wanted to hang out w. anyone or anything. im hate skewl and dread everyday...i want to cry everyday and want to lose weight! im so fat! i weigh 110 or 109 but i look so fat and mambye i should just stop eating and die like that.
Posted by Brittany: Jan 10, 2005
babe everything will be ok soon. stop cutting and start eating. my girlfriend sounds exactely like this and i have made her stop an now she is doing ok...she started cutting again but i cant do anything for her at the moment. stick in there - jorja
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