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Depression Disorder
By Theresa
36 Years Old

I am 36 years old, and I have just come to the realization that I have a depression disorder. I think I've had it all my life, but I have been battling it without realizing it. My life has been a constant roller coaster of ups and downs, more extreme than average.

Now, I'm tired, and wearing down from the weight of suppressing so much. I am the person who everyone else turns to in times of crisis, and I don't ever remember a time when I couldn't solve problems, mine included, until now. I'm overwhelmed by the feelings I have, of unexplained sadness, and I find myself crying often, uncontrollably. This is not like me. I have researched depression, and have found that I have a classic case of it. I am having a hard time accepting that this could happen to me. I know that there is treatment out there, but it frightens me. I want people to know that even the strongest, most in control personalities out there can be hit by this debilitating affliction.

It creeps up on you, over a long period of time, until you have to aknowledge that something is definitely very wrong. Get help. Talk to someone. I've held mine inside, thinking I could handle it all on my own, until now, and I know I can't do it alone anymore, after all. If this helps anyone, I'm glad. Be well.

Posted by Theresa: May 8, 2005

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