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14 Years Old
It's fustrating when you feel u have a really close frend that youve known for a long time who says one thing and does the complete opposit you think they have your back and you would be best frends forever and they completely stab you in the back. You feel guilty but your innocent and your lost and confused. I have more problems to think about but this one frend i cant stop thinking of shes like the closest realtionship i ever had with someone and its all bull. i get accused every night for messing up things which arnt my fault by my family. ive ried cutting myself on my wrists but im too religous too go any further and eating turns mee off my parents dont see the same future as me and they want me to do wateva they like mut i dont want that i want to enjoy being 14 not run around like a chook with no head i cry everynight hoping god will take me at this point. there is no meaning for me to luve anymore. frends and family are so important to evryone and when they turn teir back on u its like someone is stabbing a knife in your heart. all my frnds have happy lives and perfect families except for me ! im always the one left out i have too much skin on my body and i have to stick my fingers down my throat and eat nothing i try to tlk to ppl to get all this out of my system but i get fired up and angry very easily i do not speak to anyone and i constantly cry and yell all day. my mum never let me cut myself and it was hard to stop but i managed that part. i have too much skin on my body and i want to get rid of it. i think i am suffering from depression. i thought my family and frend were differen i though sisters and parents should support wat u feel and wat u want to do, and my frend i thought she was different to all those other teenage bitches. she ignores me for no reason and ditches me for ppl we dont like i never did anything to her and i noe that for a fact. i hate myself and i dont want to be me i feel weak and i dont sleep until 4:00 am and im unatractive in my eyes and betrayel is my best frend im lost and i no longer want to survive.
Posted by sarah : Jun 8' 2010, Age- 14
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